myths of the right wing

That sex will always be between perfect people in a perfectly committed marriage, solely for the creation of perfect children; and therefore, no need for birth control, reproductive rights, or divorce laws.

That Big Business is always happening between perfect Big Businessmen, in a perfectly committed Big Business relationship with the Little Guy: and therefore, no need for an FDA, no need for laws protecting the right of citizens to sue corporations, no need for any law regulating the stock market.

That life is always perfectly fair, and always happens fairly to the people who work perfectly hard, in fair right-to-work states, with a perfect and fair lifetime reward awaiting those who perfectly follow the fair rules: and therefore, no need for Social Security, national health care, or Medicare.

There is not a single right wing politician who abides by these myths: time and again, they have revealed themselves to be serial divorcers, eager patrons of prostitutes and leather queens, enthusiastic supporters of reproductive rights via paying for abortions for their mistresses, and cheaters on their wives (often with men--no need for birth control there!--so in this single instance, one myth holds semi-true).

They never met a competitive marketplace they didn't fear, running instead into the soft, plush arms of partisan think-tanks and sucking on the public tit via government positions (jobs they claim to disdain for anyone, oddly, but themselves), enjoying unfair access to near-luxurious levels of health care, pension plans and regular cost-of-living increases to those pensions.

In fact--in truth, in reality, in actual world terms--if you're a right wing politician, sex is often messy, complicated and imperfect, Big Business is cold and cut-throat, and life is hardly ever fair (which is what life is like for everyone else) but instead of owning that, they spam the public with ideas that do not work, with myths they themselves cannot ever catch hold of, finally left with nothing but a profound, deeply sick hypocrisy upon which to build a life or lead a nation (which is what the rest of us call living in hell).

And all this they do while claiming purity and goodness and love of country: the self-proclaimed decency of their motives being the biggest myth of all.